And that is the sound of me not going to Shadow Boxing class. It was the jumping rope. I had visions of me tripping and falling and getting tangled in the jump rope and accidentally hanging myself with it.
I'm not willing to take the risk to do that to my family.
So I opted for Step class instead.
Now this was called just plain old Step. Not Advanced Step or Super Step or Crazy Jumping All Over The Place Step. Just Step.
So I thought I might be able to handle it.
My first indication that I should have just run out of the room was when the class started with Amped Ab's. I didn't notice that it was 6 and not 6:15. I just saw people going in and thought oh look, it's time.
So, yeah, I got to try to Amp my Ab's. I actually didn't do half bad. I could do about 90% of the stuff. The only things I couldn't manage were the crunching with both legs in the air.
Apparently my feet like being on the ground where they belong.
After that, the torture session began. The instructor took us through some basic moves and explained how they do one choreographed routine for an entire month. That way it gives people a chance to learn the routine. That means the other 8 people in the room had been doing this for the last 3 weeks.
I was the only new person.
I did fair for the first 20 minutes. I have no rhythm. I was always about a half beat behind. I have a bad memory. When the routine got more than 6 or 7 steps, I got lost.
I completely stopped after about 30 minutes when I noticed my hands were aching, and had swollen to twice their normal size. They were also red. I sat in the back of the room drinking water and noticed my legs were also red and my ankles were almost as puffy as my hands.
What the heck? So I left.
By the time I drove home, got a glass of milk and sat in front of the computer, they were almost back to normal. So I have come to the conclusion....
I am allergic to exercise. Some where deep in my soul I have always suspected as much.
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