A Requested Story - Part 1

How did I meet my husband?  I met him on the internet.

These days, that statement doesn’t usually get “the look” that it used to get. You know “the look”, that kind of judgmental look that says “OH REALLY”.  6 years ago, when we first met, I’d get “the look” more times than not.  I have even been known to give “the look” myself.  But personal ads and such have gotten so much more common place, I haven’t seen “the look” in a while.

I don’t exactly remember placing a personal ad online. Seemingly out of the blue one day, I get an email from someone saying he saw my ad, that I would probably think he was too young, but I could email him if I wanted to.  Hmmm.  I followed the link to the web site and read his ad.  Hmmm.  Then I went to the sites main login page, put in the username I always use, and the password I always use.  Imagine my surprise when it logged me in.  I pulled up my ad and read what it said.  Going by the age I had listed, I had posted it about 10 months earlier.  I had a vague recollection of being on the computer one night with a pack of wine coolers sitting next to me.  That must have been it.  I went to several other places and tried logging in to see what else I had done.  I found 2 others, which I promptly deleted.  It probably wasn’t really necessary, seeing as how I hadn’t gotten any response to them. 

I couldn’t decide if I should be relieved or insulted.

So I went back to the email from the guy.  I thought, nah, I’m happy.  I’m not interested.  Delete.

A few minutes later, I put it back in my inbox and went and read his add again.  Hmmm.  He liked to do a lot of the same things I liked.  Nah.  It would be too much trouble, I don’t want to meet someone new.  Chances are it wouldn’t work out and would be a waste of time.  Delete.

Then I put it back in the inbox again.  Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to at least email him.  Maybe we could go to a movie or dinner or something.  I haven’t been out with anyone in forever.  What could it hurt?  A lot, it could hurt a lot.  I was ok with where I was in my life and was ok with raising my kids alone and just being happy by myself.  Relationships are just too much trouble and usually not worth the effort, and I have a history of bad judgment.  Besides, once I had to send him a picture of me, he wouldn’t be interested anymore.  Delete.

Ok, fine.  FINE.  I put it back in the inbox again.  I’ll email him.  I will tell him about my kids and that I am 11 years older than him.  That should be enough to never hear from him again.  FINE.

So I took a deep breath and clicked reply instead of delete. 

To be continued…..

CHL

That is Concealed Handgun License for those of you not in the know.

My hubby has had one for several years.  He has tried to get me to get mine many times.  I always said no, maybe later.  My main excuse was that it is against Company Policy to carry at work.  It is not illegal - they don't have the legal signs posted at all doorways - but it is against their Policy.  And as much as I hate my job, I like having a job, so I tend to follow Company Policy.  More or less.  Plus hubby is almost always armed.  And usually with more than one gun.  So if it ever actually came down to a Mr and Mrs Smith, our backs against the wall, type situation, he could toss me one of his spares to use.  (That's a Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie movie reference by the way.)

I think my real problem with getting a CHL though, was I didn't think I really had it in me to point a loaded gun at someone.  That is one of the main Gun Safety Rules: never point a gun at something unless you are planning on shooting it.  Right behind: treat every gun as if it is loaded.  

I have never been in a crisis situation.  I didn't know how I would be.  Would I be one of those people who get all helpless and can't do anything but cry?  I always liked to think not, but you don't really know.  Until you know.

And now I know.

If I feel threatened or someone in my family is threatened I am perfectly capable of pointing a loaded gun at someone.  And while I would always hope to not have to actually pull the trigger, I would do it if I had to.

Does that make me a BAD ASS too?

Not his first time

The house that is caddy cornered from ours has small kids.  Girl kids.  So we thought it would be in the best interest of the neighborhood to let them know about last nights incident.  Especially since The Perv lives directly behind them.

It turns out that this wasn't The Perv's first window peeking escapade.  Caddy Corner Mom caught him one morning looking in her windows, and called the police on him.  And he apparently has been to a couple of other houses as well.

The Perv is married and has a son.  

When we left the house this evening, we saw The Perv leaving his house and going off on a bicycle. 

Grrrrr.

He's not JUST handy

My hubby is not only handy, but he is a total BAD ASS!

This happened last night:

We went to bed around 10 pm. I had taken an over the counter sleeping aid and a couple of Tylenol (shoulder pain-not sleeping well). So I was dead to the world.

At some point I was vaguely aware of hubby getting out of bed. In my groggy mind I thought he said something about turning off the water. (We have soaker hoses around the foundation. We left the ones at the front of the house running on low when we went to bed. The doors aren't closing right.)

The next sound that penetrates the fog, is the sound of hubby's voice. YELLING very loudly. I can't tell what he is saying, but he is actually YELLING, so some sense of urgency gets me on my feet and stumbling out of bed.

Since I had a vague recollection of something about the water, I headed to the front door. The door was still dead bolted, so he didn't go out that way. I can still hear him YELLING, but still can't make out what he is saying.

I go to the back door and sure enough, it is unlocked. I go out on the porch and say "Honey? Are you back here?" Now I can finally make out what he has been YELLING.

"GET THE GLOCK. BRING A FLASHLIGHT. CALL 911!"

Well that woke me up and got me moving. I run back into the bedroom and open the desk drawer and grab the gun. Then I open another drawer and start rummaging for a flash light. While my right hand is looking for the flashlight, I realize the gun in my left hand is not the Glock, so I put it down and open the other drawer and grab the Glock. I get the flashlight and grab a cell phone and head back outside.

It is dark in the backyard and I can't see anything. I can only tell that hubby's voice is coming from the far side of the yard. I call out "Honey?" again, while I am heading that way. He yells again to get the gun and get out here. I told him I had it, but where was he?

He says "I'm over here. Call 911. This guy was looking in the bathroom window at Surly Teenager while she was in the tub."

I take the gun out of its holster as I walk towards the sound of his voice and I dial 911. I get to the fence and there is hubby on the other side, in the neighbors yard, sitting on someone face down.

The police came. They took the guy away, took pictures and hubby wrote out a statement.

Hubby had chased the guy, jumped the fence, tackled the guy, wrestled him to the ground, and pinned him down. What'd I tell ya? He's a BAD ASS! !

They are going to charge the guy with criminal trespassing. The police said if we see him anywhere on our property again, even walking across the front yard, all we have to do is call 911 again and he will be arrested.

Which is really good, because Surly Teenager recognized him. He only lives a block or so over from us.

Ugh.

I ended up doing....

A little bit of everything. 

Which means I didn't get a whole lot of any one thing accomplished.

Oh, and the Pizza Rolls; the majority of them survived the weekend.

Uh-oh

I am alone in the house with a box of Pizza Rolls.

This isn't going to end well for one of us......

What to do, what to do?

I am going to get the house ALL TO MYSELF for several hours in a row this weekend.

But I can't decide what to do with this opportunity.

I could clean the house and sit back and watch it STAY  clean for hours at a time until Hubby or surly teenager comes home and doesn't pick up after themselves.

Or

I could take a nice long bubble bath without having someone come barging in to use the toilet.

Or

I could sit and read, or cross stitch, or do a jig saw puzzle without having someone holler from across the house so I have to get up and see what they can't possibly manage to take care of on their own.

I am giddy at the thought of it.

Commuting Views: The Fans

The tracks for my commuter train run behind an industrial area. A lot of the places put old, broken or unused equipment at the backs of their buildings.

There is one building that has about 15-20 tall, oscillating fans in the back.

One day when we went past, it was quite breezy out. The fans were all standing together, looking like a group of people. Their heads were turning gently this way and that in the wind.

It looked exactly like they were all talking to each other and were turning their heads to follow the flow of the conversation.

I wonder; what were they talking about? I wish I could’ve opened the window and stuck my head out, so I could hear what they were saying.

Another Handy Hubby Moment

I love Harbor Freight Tools.  Not all of their stuff is the highest quality, but they have affordable, usable stuff.  Lots and lots of stuff.  

We used to only visit Harbor Freight on "special occasions".  Which was basically anytime we were out of town, visiting Hubby's family.  There was one just down the street. 

The one in our neck of the woods was about 35 minutes away, so we never went there.

Then the Tool Gods smiled upon us, and now we have one of our own that is just down the street.

My new favorite Harbor Freight purchase?  A tow bar.  

When you don't buy brand new cars every year, you end up having to eventually tow them when they break down.  Now, you can buy a tow strap for $30 or so.  But have you ever used one of those?  It scares me to death.  And it doesn't matter if I am in the lead car or the dead one.

So when we were at Harbor Freight a couple months ago and they had a tow bar on sale for $50, Hubby didn't have to twist my arm too hard to get it.  Also bought on sale, a box of tow chain, and magnetic towing lights.

And today we got to use them.

 

front bumper removed

Tow bar attached to front

Tow chains being added

Tow chains being cut to fit

Next, the magnetic tow lights were put on and tested.

They worked!

And then guess what came next? Any guesses?  Why of course, the OTHER car, the one that was supposed to be doing the towing, THAT car, quit working.  The battery was apparently on it's last legs and the tow lights drained it.

Fortunately, Hubby had picked a good place to break down.  There was a Sam's not far away.   So we got the car running,

Took the tow bar back off

Drove to Sam's using both feet, to keep the engine revving so it wouldn't stall.

put in a new battery

Then we drove back to put the tow bar back on.  Now, when we took the tow bar off, we just threw it in the back.  And when we took it out

There was only one Cotter Pin, and there should have been two.  We looked everywhere and could not find it.  So Hubby borrowed the one from the hitch and in it's placed used:

A bobby pin found on the ground

It ended up taking about 3 hours or so, but it was so worth it.  I didn't have to be the tower or the towee.  I got to be the passenger.

Make it stop

I have this stuck in my head.

Somebody help me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuK2A1ZqoWs

Making Progress

Paranoia or Intuition

My supervisor called me on the phone the other day and asked for my company seniority date.  So I told it to her.  Then she asked if I had been at Headquarters the whole time.  I explained that I had started at one of the subsidiaries.  It was sold off in 1998 or 1999 and we were given 30 days to find a position to transfer to HDQ and we got to keep our company seniority and no interruption in benefits.  I told her the department I went to, the next position I had, and then when I started in the current department.  

I could hear her typing all this info as I was telling it to her.  She's my 3rd supervisor in this position, so I didn't really think much of her not knowing and asking.  At first.

Then today after I sent out a report I do, she emailed everyone I had sent the report to and asked if they still needed this report, and that she was asking for "resource planning purposes".

I started cleaning some stuff out of my desk.

I think my days are numbered.

It Rained In Our Backyard

Me (looking out window):  I think it is going to rain.

Hubby: Probably.  I have the soaker hoses going.

Me: ?? (shrug)(wondering about the $200 of lumber in the backyard, in various stages of primer and paint. But, hubby knows it's out there and doesn't seem concerned.)

10 minutes later.....

Me (looking out window): I was right it's raining.

Me (looking out different window): Hey!  It's only raining in the backyard.  I guess that's what they mean by scattered showers.

Hubby: The backyard!  It's raining!  We need to get the wood put up!

So we run outside in the rain and move all the wood.

Into the shed.

The shed that leaks.

Long, Holiday Weekends

I it love when a holiday falls on a Friday. 

 

You get to have an extra long, relaxing weekend.  Like this:

Can you believe it?  The lazy and surly teenagers both helped!

Of course, we had to pay them though.

Haylie's a dog!

One of my husbands favorite things to do, is to sing silly songs to our dog, Haylie.  And his favorite song to sing?

"Haylie's a dog. Haylie's a dog.  She's not a frog." (or hog, or log, or made of fog, etc.)

His favorite time to sing it?  Early in the morning.

His favorite way to sing it?  Very loud, in a rather high pitched voice.

And what does Haylie think of this?  She loves it!  She gets all excited and starts jumping around doing what we call "her happy dance".  She gets sort of all wriggly and kind of bobs her head up and down and makes a growly sound in her throat.

And then?  

Then my husband starts dancing with her.  This really gets her going and she alternately jumps up and down, barking or lies on her back, feet going every which way and twists back and forth, so that she practically folds herself in half, with her head almost touching her butt.

It is truly a sight to behold.

Commuting Views: The Newlyweds

There is a young lady, in her early 20’s maybe, who rides the morning train at the same time I do.

Every morning her husband comes to the station with her.

We usually are on the same car too. She always sits in a window seat. On the side of the train that is nearest the platform.

So she can see him.

In the few minutes before the train starts to pull away, they look wistfully at each other through the glass. They silently say “I love you” a couple of times.

Then the train starts to move.

She puts her left hand on the window. He walks along side the train for a few steps, reaching out his left hand. She leans her head against the glass, making sure she gets her last possible glimpse of him.

I imagine then, that he continues to stand there; watching as the train disappears into the distance. Then he sighs, and turns away.