I need a new egg timer

Apparently the one we have is defective. 

It beeps only at a frequency that can not be heard by HUSBANDS.

Even when they are the ones that set it.

I'm Married To An Old Man

I had hopes that marrying someone 11 years younger than me would help keep me young.  Apparently the opposite is happening; I am aging him.

 

He went outside the other day to yell at the neighbor kids.  They were on his lawn. 

 

He said britches the other day.  With a straight face.

 

He has a hernia that troubles him sometime.

 

And don’t even ask him about his sciatica.  Oy.

 

Not just an old man.  An old JEWISH man.

 

 

BooBoo Spot

Hubby had mentioned a few months ago that after working out at the gym on the equipment he felt really nauseated.  I didn't really think much about it at the time.  I just thought he did too much.

This week he mentioned again how nauseated he felt after working out.  This time something went click.  Hernia.

We pushed and poked around on his belly.  Sure enough, he has a spot above his belly button, where the biggest incision from the gallbladder removal is, where he is tender and it kind of pooches out a little bit.  

We went to the doc yesterday for an actual professional opinion and he concurred.  Hernia.  He said the losing of the weight would help it, and didn't know if it required surgical repair.  So Hubby has to see a surgeon.

My Lap Band doc does general surgery as well, so Hubby is going to see him.  I told him he should get doc to slap on a Lap Band while he was in there.

Hubby said he is not willing to give up spicy food.  He likes his mother's canned Red Chili Sauce too much. 

On Hold

I have decided to put school on hold.  Indefinitely.  

I was originally waiting to make sure I wasn't losing my job.  And I'm not.  

Then I decided that maybe I should wait until after I am done with plastic surgery.  I would have to miss a significant amount of classes.

I think now I have decided that I may not go at all.  Lately I am feeling like I may not have the required brain capacity to learn anything new.

Surly Teenager needs help with Geometry almost every night.  The other night she was asking about vertical angles, I think it was.  I don't remember ever hearing that term.  I had her read me the definition. Several times.  Then I looked at the picture example that went with it.  One diagram was labeled "An Example", the other said "Not An Example".

I don't know.  Both diagrams looked the same to me.  I just didn't get it.  I had to send her to Hubby for help.

Good thing he is so smart because if it was up to just me, Surly Teenager would not be able to pass Geometry.

What Could Be Better?

This is Rosie.

The greatest Christmas present EVER.

Rosie supplements my weekend vacuuming by running 2 or 3 times during the week.  If she didn't, we would be buried alive under the mounds of hair the dog, the cat, the Surly Teenager, and myself manage to shed.  

Notice I did not include Hubby in the shedding.  His shedding contribution is very minor.  But his DUST contribution is through the roof.  Well, not dust exactly.  Baby powder.  You would not believe the amount of powder this man uses.  He "poofs" powder from his pores. There are layers of powder on everything in our bedroom.  Which is where he primarily does his powdering.  The floor becomes slick with it.  It looks like a snowstorm has passed through when he is done.

In fact, it is so bad that poor Rosie is not able to keep up with all the hair and all the powder.

We have had to call in reinforcements.  Help is on the way!!

I specifically requested that they send a boy.  We are hoping he and Rosie will mate and we will come home one day to a fleet of baby Roombas.

No One Was Hurt

Well, Lazy Teenager has gone and done it now.

She wrecked her roommates car.

She was in a parking lot, on her cell phone.  She didn't yield, there was no sign (but there probably should have been) and pulled in front of someone and they hit her.

The other car had some minor damage.  The car she was driving is bad enough that it is not drivable and the insurance company will probably consider it totaled.

Her reaction to this was just deplorable.  Roommate was understandably upset with Lazy Teenager.  He told her that, all things considered-wrecking his car, no job to help pay for any bills- that she should move out.  Her reaction?  She starts yelling at HIM.  She tells him that she is mad at him and doesn't want to talk to him right now.  Roommate then APOLOGIZES to Lazy Teenager and says that he was just concerned about her and that she doesn't have to move out.

I can not believe her.  She takes his car without his knowledge, drives it WITHOUT A LICENSE, then wrecks his car and he ends up apologizing to her!

ARGH!!

yIKEs

Batten down the hatches Texas!